Hello World!
I am back and I am older…Much older.
I am a thirty-something…32-years-old to be exact. I have to admit It has hit me hard to be in my thirties. It is not what I expected at all and I feel very unaccomplished, exhausted, frustrated, more frustrated, tired and tired.
I am not getting the: “You are going to love being in you thirties!”.
So far I just feel like time is just flying by and no matter what I do or how much I train, I cannot keep up! That Is what I feel thus far….Time is like I a marathon I cannot keep up with.
I am struggling a lot with aging, accomplishing goals and changes. I find myself thinking a lot about my past and things I could have done differently. There is so much I still want to do and I am running out of time. At the same time everything that I try to do comes to halt or I reach a dead-end. But, I have to keep pushing forward because there is no other way.
In many ways, I wish I could be more relaxed, carefree and less demanding of myself. It is something I need to work on, but my type A personality simply does not release its hold of my mind and soul. I think that the reverse is happening now that I am in my thirties.
For one, my obsessiveness with organization has gotten worse. My patience is very, very low. My migraines are more intense. My back aches way more. I have zero energy and my mood is not great. So what is so great about being in your thirties….I have no clue!
The only thing I feel is more pressure to accomplish my goals before being 40. I feel more pressure to have children, buy a house, get the perfect job and do what I need to do to set myself up for retirement. I know I am thinking of all the negatives and maybe I am a pessimmist…but it is how I am feeling these days.
I do not feel that awesome vibe that everyone is talking about and I wish I was in that happy place.
Until next time….Happy Reading!!!!
Image courtesy of:
Opal Siren 