Opal Siren

My life in dreams

No Access

The other night I had another crazy dream. I was driving my grandfather’s pick up truck to the country side in the Dominican Republic. I knew I was dreaming, because I would never drive in the Dominican Republic and big pick-up trucks scare me to death (You would not like them either if you were as short as me!) But there I was, driving through the beautiful green scenery, looking at the people outside of their homes enjoying the beautiful sunny day. All of a sudden I saw this huge water wave coming towards me. I felt so short out of breath and I began to lose control of the truck. The wave seemed to have a mind of its own and it was only aiming towards me. I managed to pull into a commercial establishment and ran inside. There, I managed to get control of my breath and reminded myself why I should not drive in foreign countries: There is no traffic control and apparently no wave control either.

I started to look around the establishment and it no longer seemed like an ordinary store. It was a very big, plain, blue room. The floor was so shiny I could see my reflection right on it. I started to walk further into the room and noticed a reception area. A middle-aged woman was sitting behind this beautifully oak-crafted reception desk. I walked up the woman and looked straight at her to see if I knew who she was. She looked back at me with very intense eyes, almost as if she was annoyed at me. She said: “Oh no. Not this time. This time you cannot get through. There is no access for you and you know that. I cannot let you through to the waiting room!”. I don’t know why I said  what I am about to write next, but this is what I said: “Please let me through. I have to get in and try to see my grandmother. I need her”. I started sobbing uncontrollably. The woman looked at me annoyed again and said: “Ugh! Here is a pass to the waiting room. It is not like you are going to get through and go to the main area anyway”. I responded: “I know. I know I am not going to heaven and I know very well where I am going!”. She showed me the way to the waiting room and I felt like I was at Penn Station in NYC.

There were people everywhere and in all corners of the room. I don’t know how all of those people were able to fit in that room and yet we were not on top of each other. There were people walking around, sitting, running, and talking to each other. It was so loud in there. Straight ahead I saw very tall doors that opened every few minutes or so. Each time the doors opened, there were many more people looking towards the waiting room. It seemed like they were waiting for the people in the waiting room. I kept trying to see if perhaps my grandmother was there trying to find me. Suddenly, a handsome, tall, dark-haired guy, with olive-green eyes, came up to me and grabbed me by my shoulders. He looked at me intently and then whispered in my left ear in a deep baritone voice: “You need to sing. You need to work with children. You need to dance”  I woke up feeling sad, but at the same time confused.

What does this all mean? Where was I? Does my subconscious know something about the afterlife that I should be aware of?

What do you think?


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At a spur of a moment I decided to go to the Dominican Republic. Part of me was bored of being home and the mundane, and the other part just wanted to see my relatives. So I get to cross off visiting my homeland from my life’s list. I have to say that doing the things that are on my life’s list have not been too difficult, and I actually feel more accomplished each day.

Visiting my old home was VERY difficult. It is as time never passed. Everything was the same except my grandmother’s smile which was painfully absent. I was pretty sad my first few days there. I thought about her and how she used to welcome me with a big hug and those bright green eyes. That was the thing about my grandmother…she made EVERYONE feel special and welcome, and her eyes told you everything you needed to know. Her name, Bienvenida, means welcome in Spanish. My great-grandmother hit the nail in the head when she named my grandmother. She helped so many people in need. She comforted and supported her family. She was not judgemental or critical. She was just warm and welcoming like her name.

I don’t know if this trip was a good idea or not. I just know that now I miss her even more. Things got weirder when most relatives did not recognize me, since I left home when I was 15-years-old. I had a good time seeing my dad and other family friends. I also got to see some of my high school friends and old places I used to visit. It is a bit odd to see everything that one has left behind: old friends, homes, schools. Everything from my past life was there and pretty much the same, except ME. I was different and that threw me off. I was more tolerant and understanding of things, and then there were other things, like mosquitos, that drove me nuts. I would say to myself: “How did I do this everyday??!!!”.

The most important lesson I took from this trip is how incredibly lucky I am to have the comforts I have: to have food on the table everyday, even if it is from a drive-thru window, to have a good education and now a stable job. I really needed this trip to give me a reality check and be happy for what I have now.  Too many times we take the smallest things, like having hot water, for granted. I will always give thanks for a nice hot shower! I surely do not miss those cold showers from my trip LOL.

The other lesson I learned on this trip, is the sense of compassion and family togetherness that developing countries, like the Dominican Republic, have. I really missed that and unfortunately I do not see a lot of togetherness here in the U.S. In the Dominican Republic, families depend and rely on each other. Here in the U.S., we are all on our own it seems. Everything is about the person and the sense of “me” and “I” , and not ” we” and “us”.  Event though many Dominican families have the bare necessities, if that, they have their immediate families and extended families to rely on. This togetherness was refreshing, admirable, and comforting to see.

Here are some pictures for you to enjoy from the trip. They were taken in Sosua and Jarabacoa, Dominican Republic 🙂

Happy Reading!!!

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In Honor of King

Perhaps this is a bit late, and by the time any of you read this Martin Luther King Jr.’s day will have passed. But I truly believe that his philosophy, work, and achievements should be remembered every day. We all should strive to be more tolerant and more accepting as a society. Freedom and equality does not come cheap, unfortunately, and we should value it and treasure it each day. I almost forgot about this important day due to the stress of the moving and the unpacking, and shame on me. We need more days like this one to remember where we were as a society and what we can do to continue to improve.

When I first moved to America, I did not know who Mr. King was or what he believed in. I barely knew how to read or write in English. Some of the people in my highschool mocked me and wanted nothing to do with me because I am of Hispanic descent. It did not matter if I was born here or not, all they saw was my tan. Before moving here, however, I had never tasted the freedom and liberty that we as Americans have. Where I grew up  there was somewhat of a democracy, but it was mostly marinated with corruption and greed. The kind of corruption that is far greater than some of the things we see in our own government. Society there can be far more conservative, but cruel at the same time. There is even racism within its own people. At the same time  though, there is a simplicity, a brotherhood and a family safety net that can not be duplicated. I also must say, that things in the Dominican Republic have changed and improved a lot since I lived there. Remembering how things were when I lived there, makes me appreciate the great things this nation has to offer and has for its people. We have an opportunity to be an example to other less fortunate countries and be more tolerant. The goal should be not to change the beliefs of others but to show more acceptance and tolerance.

Unfortunately, although things have changed a lot since King’s era, I still think that progress needs to be made. It seems as though intolerance is growing in other ways too. I have witnessed people constantly ripping each other apart for what they do and what they do not do. People judging others for how they express themselves or even if they do not spell a word correctly. We all need to learn how to look past the little things that do not matter and look at the entire picture. We ought to be judging a person based on the positive values that they can bring into our lives, and not whether they can spell a word correctly, or what country they are from, or what race they are.

We  do not have to agree with everything and everyone, but we need to respect others and show more tolerance and acceptance, as we are all human. We all deserve to have our voices heard, have the same rights, and be treated with dignity and respect.

Happy Martin Luther King Jr. Day!

Happy Reading!