Opal Siren

My life in dreams

When you are in your thirties and childless….


My husband and I are used to the old questions “Do you guys have any children?” “When are you going to have any children?” “Why are you waiting?”

I mean, I can tell you that we have been married for six years as of 3-14-14, and we have heard these questions thousands of times. We would be millionaires if we collected a dollar each of the times the subject has come up.

It seems that the questions have gotten even more intense at work and even more frequent now that we are in our thirties. Every day I get grilled and told: “You need to have a baby, soon!”

My husband is turning 30 this year and the thought has come about a few times. We do want to add children to our family, but the truth is we are happy the way we are. We have been married a while, but during that time he has been deployed several times and he was 23 when we got married…23!!!  I was 26 when we got married but not more mature than he was, and I knew that. I did not want my husband’s Navy career to suffer by getting pregnant too early and without him being able to be present.

The other reason why we have waited sooo long to add to our family, is simply that we are a family period. We are not creating a family, we already are a family unit and are quite happy and satisfied. We both work, contribute to our home, have a wonderful dog that we tend to and do what we like each day. We feel happy and complete. We do not feel the need to”create a family”. We are each others best friends and partners. We would like to add to our family at some point because we want to, not because of a dire need to have a family. Also, it will happen when we both feel comfortable and when his career dictates.

I know it sounds awful that my husband’s career has to dictate our lives, and recently I had issues with this myself, but this is the reality we are both living in and I accept it. My husband is in the service, we both committed to this lifestyle and we both knew the consequences of being a military family. There are somethings he does not have a choice in and I have had to push back a lot of my own ambitions and dreams. That is what love and sacrifice is. When you truly love someone, sometimes there are things that you have to put aside or even push back. That is the biggest lesson I have learned in the past few months.

I will also say that I did not want my very young sailor husband to be a father, because I wanted him to have a fulfilling career. I wanted him to conquer his dreams. We were also not ready when we got married. Now we are ready but we are content and still not sure where the Navy is going to be moving us. I live in a military town and I see the tears in the children’s eyes when their fathers or mothers  have to leave on long deployments. I did not want to see those tears in my children’s eyes. That is why we are waiting as long as we can to have children. We will wait as close to his retirement as possible, if we have to, in order to avoid unnecessary stress and anguish on myself and our future offspring.

And so, although it is hard to see other couples with their children, we are often not invited to things because we do not have children, get strange looks because we are childless in our thirties, we know what is best for our family. All things happen when they are meant to happen 🙂

Happy Reading!!!!

 

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The Woman In Black at the CineBistro



****Spoiler Alert****Spoiler Alert****Spoiler Alert****Spoiler Alert****

I love the Harry Potter Films….I know what many of you will think while reading this line, and no… I am not too old for Harry Potter. I wish I had read the books, but the films are just so good that I do not feel the need to read them; unlike the Twilight Saga films (Sigh). However, my love affair with Mr. Potter was not the reason we decided to go see the movie “The Woman in Black”, starring Daniel Radcliffe.  I actually loooove horror films that make me jump, sweat, and squeeze my poor husband’s hand while watching. I love the torture of being frightened. So off we went to CineBistro to get spooked.

I must warn you that the film did not get good reviews, but I actually enjoyed it and gave it a 3.5 out of 5 stars.

I also must admit that it was difficult to see Mr. Potter Radcliffe in a new role, and I think it threw people off, which is why it got the reviews it did. Also, it was strange to see him play a widower with a son. His face is still very boyish looking and he is not very tall. But besides all the technicalities, the movie was creepy and I loved every minute of it.

As you may already know, the film is based on a widower/attorney who goes to a strange, little village, to sort out the mountains of paperwork of a recently deceased heiress. His law career is struggling, due to the debilitating depression he is in from the loss of his wife at childbirth. His own child keeps drawing pictures of his daddy with a very sad face. When he arrives at the village, he is faced with people that are behaving quite bizarre and most of the children in the village are mysteriously dying.

As he arrives at the mansion of the deceased woman, he is confronted with unexplained noises and an eerie figure of a woman dressed in black. The lawyer already knows that the house was vacant and no one in the village would dare to go there. So to him, this figure is quite inexplicable.

As it turns out, the woman he keeps seeing is a scorned ghost named Jennet, who was very angry at her sister Alice (the deceased heiress). Jennet was accused of being mentally unstable and unable to raise her child. Due to her supposed instability, she is forced to give up her child to her sister Alice, who insists on raising him as her own. Jennet is also forced to live in the house with Alice, her brother-in-law, and her own child, without being able to tell her son that she is his acutal mother. The boy winds up dying in a carriage accident, and Jennet blames her sister and brother-in-law for the accident. Unable to cope with the loss, she winds up hanging herself. Scorned and tormented with grief, her ghost wanders into the village, but if someone sees her presence a child suddenly dies.

I was slightly confused while watching this film as to why Jennet was going around the town kiling these poor children. But after thinking about it, I think I know why. When her own son died, she felt robbed out of being a parent and believed that her sister and brother-in-law could have done more to save her child. She was tormented by the fact that her sister and her sister’s husband, and the people in the town for that matter, did not do more to save their own children. Angered by this, she continued to kill and collect the souls of children.

I do not agree that you need to go around killing children to prove your point, but at the same time many of the children from the village were killed nearby their parents, and the parents did nothing to save their own children. At the end of the film, Jennet is sort of vindicated when Radcliffe’s character risks his life to save his child’s life.

I am not a parent and have no room to talk write about this, but if God blessed me with a child I would take care of him/her to the point of giving up my life. Isn’t that what good parents are supposed to do? To care and watch over their children? Sometimes I see many parents that have children just to conform to societal rules and not because they really wanted to have children. They wander around and ignore their children most of the time. This reality is quite sad, and while I don’t doubt that most parents love their children…are they doing enough to keep them safe from harm?

Finally, I would like to compliment CineBistro on an amazing experience. My husband and I had a great time dinning and watching this great thriller. The food was delicious, and it was a first for me to watch a movie while eating dinner at a movie theater. The atmosphere was vibrant and happy. I will have to go back to play at their bowling alley.

 

P.S. Good point made by one of my readers. “Why should I go see this movie after reading this?”….Cause it is freakin awsome!!!! I want to go see it again and you will too!

 

Happy Reading!!!!

***Image from: http://www.jollygoodshow.net/reviews/trailers-clips/trailers/494-the-woman-in-black-trailer

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The new 20


In two days, I will officially be entering my 30’s. Some people have re-named this age group as the new 20. I believe it…

For starters, in my 20’s there was so much drama going on. Every little issue was magnified without any rationalization whatsoever. So many senseless arguments, tirades, boyfriend drama, school drama, friendly drama….I mean talk about DRAMA QUEEN (imagine, that used to be me when I thought I was soooo “mature”). 

My angry old lady self.

But, as I am getting older, little things do not get to me as much. I am calmer, more focused, blossoming, maturing, and I can read people’s intentions much better.

So instead of getting into a thug of war in my head, about how someone is going to react or if someone likes me or not, I can pretty much decipher that immediately. The best part about it is, that whether someone likes me or not is not relevant anymore. I SIMPLY DO NOT CARE!!!!

I think I am starting to like this new me after all. I have also noticed, that with the exception of this blog, I am not thinking of “me” all the time. Could it be that I am more giving and understanding??? Not that I was not before, but when you get older not everything is about yourself. You start to appreciate more those around you and for that I am grateful. The best part of this new decade in my life, is that I can finally feel accomplished. I am almost done with my Master’s degree. I am so close, I can literally smell the aroma in the air. Does it really matter that I did not become a millionaire, started a company or had a great career in my 20’s???? NOPE! I am very content with being a late bloomer. I probably would not have been able to handle it anyway at that stage in my life. But, I can handle it now. I am ready for my unplanned life. YES! no more planning for me. I am letting go and for once seeing where life takes me. You see, no matter how much planning and organizing and lists you make, life has its own agenda. So might as well enjoy the ride and do the best you can!!!

Did I say I am more patient with people??? Ah yes!!!! You see, the old me was never wrong, not very tactful or understanding ( I thought I was!!!). But, with maturity you come to realize that not everyone agrees or thinks like you, and that is ok. I can proudly say that I am more tolerant and understanding and not so quick to judge. Besides, I would not want someone doing it to me. Tolerance is so important. We have become so intolerant and judgemental of each other as humans beings. We are intolerant of Peanut Butter …So much for school lunches 😦  Yikes!  ….

Children, poverty, people who are not as gifted or smart as us, etc. And for what reason??? Mocking, acting proud or smarter than others because your beliefs are different will get you to one place….Loneliness.

So here is  a toast to the new 20 somethings  (Ahem!! 30 somethings) out there!!!

Yay!!! We’ve made it.

Happy Reading!!!!

**Images obtained from:

http://images.cheezburger.com/completestore/2010/3/30/129144778577524103.jpg.

http://www.google.com/imgres?,q=zen&hl=en&safe=off&biw=1116&bih=575&tbm

=isch&tbnid=Qdv_x5dlDkImOM:&imgrefurl=http://eu.fotolia.com/id/8676054&docid

=SJyIaFSy3WdIIM&w=400&h=289&ei=FaiETsbbIsrOhAeo0dDUDA&zoom=1&iact

=rc&dur=466&page=2&tbnh=98&tbnw=135&start=10&ndsp=19&ved=1t:429,r:8,s:10&tx=130&ty=48.

http://www.wpclipart.com/transportation/car_ride.png.html.

http://www.google.com/imgres?q=peanut+butter&hl=en&safe=off&sa=X&biw=1116&bih=575&tbm=isch&prmd=imvnser&tbnid

=9KSXD8ju7OFGpM:&imgrefurl=http://www.peanutbutterfacts.com/who-invented-peanut-butter/&docid=a_ORWIqT6pebrM&w=286&h=317&ei=rqiETqf7OsHRhAeZsJGHDQ&zoom

=1&iact=rc&dur=333&page=2&tbnh=174&tbnw=175&start=10&ndsp=10&ved=1t:429,r:5,s:10&tx

=89&ty=46

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