Opal Siren

My life in dreams

A Salute To Old Friends

One of the reasons I joined Facebook a few years ago, was to get re-acquainted with some family members and old friends. I lived in the Dominican Republic for several years prior to moving to The States. I attended an all-girls Catholic school from the first to the tenth grade. It was a nightmare, but there were some innocent and fun childhood memories that I lived in this particular school as well. Some of the people I knew from that school were like sisters to me. I was happy to have found many of them on this social networking site, and I am happy that I am continuing to find many more. I have been enjoying the old pictures, the stories, the memories of old teachers, ghosts in the hallways, the nuns, and the strictness of it all.

I even became friends with one of the school’s  bully. Yes! I went there for the sake of moving on. She was a terror and made my high school years there not very pleasant. I was not the nicest person either and had many issues. Like most teenagers, I wanted to be in my bedroom at all times and not be bothered. I had a serious attitude problem, but was quiet and reserved. I pretty much stayed to myself and did my home work everyday. I never did drugs or attended late night parties. For the most part, I was a really good kid!

As I become friends with these ladies again, some I still like, some have not changed, and some are very different people now. It is odd to see them again with mature, experienced eyes. I no longer feel threatened, judged, or even the need to fit in. Hey, lets face it, I can always unfriend or block them if any of them become a nuisance. As I observe more and more the behavior and the lives of some of these ladies, I take a deep breath of relief that I have grown so much as a person and that they have grown as well. I feel like the new me is a better version of myself. Although those memories from the past are delightful and painful at times, I would not want to go back. The truth is I was terrified of most of these people in school. I stayed to myself most of the time for the fear of being judged or put down. They did it either way and I am sure I did my share of damage too. But thanks to those times and those experiences, I corrected my own bad habits and have been able to move forward for the better.

Accountability. I think that is the lesson I have learned the most from my old friends. Many of the “issues” I had were created by me and I take full responsibility for them. I am glad to say, again, that I am a better person and I am not afraid to confront my own demons head on.  I just wish some of these ladies would get to know the me of  TODAY. I mean I do enjoy the old stories and the embarrassing moments I had, or even recollections of my attitude problems. But, I am not that 15-year-old girl anymore. Many of my past behaviors were due to situations that were not in my control, and due to decisions made by those that had control of me. But now I am in control. I am a woman who is turning 31 very soon. I still have no clue what I want in life, but I am a WOMAN.

Nevertheless, It is amusing to read about some of our embarrassing moments and our issues in those days. It is also nice to see that some are doing very well in life, but for the most part I feel equal to them. I do not feel the urge to fit in, or try to compete, or jealous in any way. I don’t feel like I have to pretend that I am better or worse. I am just me. I am still working day-to-day to become better and to have focus, and that is all I need to worry about right now.

So I thank my old friends for the me that I am now, and the experiences that have pushed me to be who I am today. Thank God that part of my life is over!!! 🙂

How do you feel about your old high school days???

Happy Reading!!! 

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9 Days Before 30

Time flies when you don’t want to get older. It is not that I feel that by turning 30 I am an old person. Besides, there is nothing wrong with getting older, and it is one of those things that we cannot avoid. Time does not forgive. Whether you are happy, sad, traumatized, elated….It does not matter. Time still passes on. I am happy that time is passing by. For one, I am closer to finishing my Master’s Degree. Hopefully I will land a job somewhere. But, it is very bittersweet to not be in my 20’s.

Time causes change. I am no longer as naive as I used to be. I understand things a lot better now. In a way, this is not good. Somehow, I was better off being naive and not knowing the truth. You see, with time and maturity comes wisdom. Innocence disappears from within your soul.  No longer can people pull little tricks on you or make you feel that things are a certain way, when they are not. You may think wisdom is great. Wisdom means knowledge. But in my case, I was better off not knowing anything at all. I was moving forward and forgetting the past. Until, I found out the true motives of people around me. You simply cannot have the good without the bad. 

Time causes confusion and nostalgia. When time passes, you may forgive and perhaps forget certain things. Then you ponder , “What the heck was I thinking?” Exactly, “what the heck was I thinking when I took that job, or dated that guy, or wore that outfit??” But even though you cringe while thinking about those moments,the truth is they may have been the funnest and funniest moments you have had. You may also feel as I feel now, completely worried about what’s to come next or what to do. But, as usual, time will take care of that.

Happy Reading!!!!

***Images obtained from: http://www.wittysparks.com/wp-content/uploads/2007/10/confusion_11.jpg

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