Opal Siren

My life in dreams

CONTROL


I am a control freak. I like to keep everything around me organized and cleaned. But I also like to manage and plan upcoming projects, and have a plan of action. I don’t understand people who are disorganized or not neat. I probably never will and I will admit that I am jealous of these people. They get to go trough life without caring if their bed is neatly made in the morning, and not caring whether a pillow is out-of-place or not. I will never be that way, and I have learned to just accept that I am this way and being any other way will drive me insane.

Yes! I am one of those people who have a calendar , To-Do list and a planner. I like to have a list for everything. The minute the list is accomplished  it gets filled with more things to do. So the To-Do list never ends. But this list-keeping habit keeps me sane and keeps my need to be organized satisfied. I also like to have a planner and  a To-Do list to control my anxieties and my worries of forgetting to do something. Most of all, it controls my need for perfection. I always had a need for everything that was under my care to be perfect, neat and organized. Maybe it is because I cannot control what goes on around me or certain people, so whatever I can manage needs to meet my standards.

Most importantly, the planners I own have to meet certain criteria too. I never noticed this before until today when I went to shop for one. Apparently, my anxieties and stress levels are way out of…well, control. As I was in Wal-Mart shopping for a new planner for next year, I felt like a crazy person. 20 minutes later I was still standing in the stationary aisle trying to decide what planer to buy. For a normal person this would have taken 2 seconds: Go to the stationary aisle and grab a planner. But not for me. I had to look at each style. Feel the cover and the style of each design. I had to glance at the pages to make sure they were not congested with things. I am already stressed and I need something simple to follow with a  very “clean” design…Although I did go for a little color this time .

I have no interest in correcting my behavior. It makes me feel good to control the things I can and it gives me some sort of relief. There is so much chaos out there it seems. Even within me there are feelings and emotions that I simply cannot dominate. But the fact that I get to choose and decide the color and style of my next planner, provides me with much-needed relief.

Wow…Can you calculate how many times I used the word “Control” in this post? LOL

What about you…Do you have a need to control anything in your life?

Happy Reading!!!!

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Pay-It-Forward


Hi Guys! 

What a few weeks have I had!!! My new job as a DBA is very overwhelming. So much to learn and register, and so little time. Thus far, I like the company and my co-workers are not so bad. I am just so exhausted from the daily commute. I was so overwhelmed last week that I cried. There is just so much information and so much I don’t know. The position I am in it is very demanding, and knowing about systems and applications is key. I never thought I would miss studying DNA and proteins, but all this tech stuff is making my head spin! 

The other day I was sitting in traffic, which is normal by the way, and I just wanted to turn around and go home. My body had just had enough from the stress of commuting and training. As I stopped at Starbucks for my daily dosage of caffeine, I wondered how am I going to get through this training phase and how am I going to do this job. As I approached the window to pay for my venti non-fat vanilla latte, I was surprised at the response from the cashier: “Miss.. you do not need to pay for your order, the person ahead of you paid it for you”. I was shocked!!! No one has ever paid anything for me. I did not know if I should get out of the car and do cart wheels, thank the cashier, run and catch the car with the person that had just paid for my order, or just tear up. I did not need that person to pay for my order, but it felt good. I just thought how nice it was of that person to take the time and make someone’s day a little happier. I surely needed it that day. It is as the heavens are listening to my prayers and giving me hope that things are going to turn around. 

I still cannot believe that a stranger took the time to pay for my coffee. It was the nicest thing anyone has done for me in a long time. I  also think that it is important to take time during our busy days and do something nice for someone else. “Pay-it-foward” is the term that comes to my mind. Since that person did something nice for me, I should do something nice for someone else. And that is what I did! I bought my work colleague some coffee and gave him my snack, which I was going to eat in the middle of the day. He was so thankful and appreciative, being that he did not feel well that day, that he thanked me numerous times. It felt good to do something nice and it made my day better. 

So there you go! Go do something nice for someone and someone may do something nice for you!!! 🙂

Happy Reading!!!!

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