Opal Siren

My life in dreams

What to be for Halloween?…How About a Chief’s Wife?


My husband has been promoted to Chief Petty Officer. I am so extremely proud of him. He has worked so hard to get this promotion and it has been an incredible journey. It has been bitter-sweet for us though, with the passing of my mother-in-law and the difficult year we both have had. Nevertheless, I know he will be an amazing leader, mentor and support to all of his sailors.

When I met my husband, he was barely an MM3 (Machinist Mate Third Class). I remember studying with him and making sure he got all the qualifications needed to make sure he made it to the next grade. I also remember running to the cleaners to pick up his Navy Uniform. You know, the one that looks like this:

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Well, he no longer wears that uniform. He now wears something like this:

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I felt sad, for about two minutes, when my husband informed me he no longer would be able to wear the sailor’s uniform, but it made me happy that he feels accomplished. What I was not expecting are all the activities we have to engage in and all the fund-raising we have to do. My husband and I have kept a : “work and family separate” rule, but now that he is a Chief I am also expected to engage, take part and be of support to other Navy families. Wow…so much responsibility and so little time! I think I am the one that needs the support! ūüôā

Feels kind of weird being the wife of a chief, but I am sure it feels just as weird for my husband; being the he is the one that has to lead and not the one that has to follow….Well, he was not that much of a follower anyway! ūüôā

Happy Reading!!!! Happy Halloween!!!!

Images courtesy of Google search/Google Images.

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The Importance of Holding Him Tightly


A frightening nightmare I dreamed last night.

I dreamed that my husband and I were in my old home, in the Dominican Republic.

For some odd reason, we started to argue. The argument got heated and he stormed off with all of his belongings.

I sat down in the balcony of my old house, took a deep breath, looked at the beautiful scenery and started to sob. Michael had left for good and he was not coming back. As the realization that my partner of six years had left me started to sink in, all I could do is sit there in disbelief and continued to cry. I remember thinking to myself: “how is my life going to go on? Why did he leave me? ” I could not understand what was happening and began to see other people sitting there with me. I felt their stares judging me and making me feel it was my fault that my husband had left me. ¬†As a panic attack started to emerge and I started to feel deep chest pains, I suddenly woke up.

It was 7:30 AM and I woke up in a cold, icy cold, room. I turned to get some warmth from my husband but he was not there. I vaguely started to remember that he had stated he was going to the grocery store early, so he can get back home and watch sports. But why would he leave without saying good-bye or at least giving me a kiss good-bye?

I laid in bed for a few more hours. I was too tired to get up. I looked over at the clock which showed a time of 9:30 AM…..”9:30 AM!!!!! Where is Michael???” I thought to myself.

I proceeded to text him. I waited a few minutes and no response. I texted him again asking where he was. Again, I was disappointed that I did not get an answer. I proceeded to call him and got his voicemail. I called him again and got the same result. I was panicking at this point.

I got up and ran into the living room. I started to feel my chest pounding and my breaths getting shorter and shorter. I saw his gym bag sitting at the dinning room table, so there was no way he could have gone to the gym. “Where is he?” I thought to myself.

I noticed the aggressive winds and the rain from the storm we had this morning. Now I was really freaking out! “Where could he had gone and why was he not home yet?” I continued to think to myself. He never takes more than one hour to go food shopping. I started to feel a deep knot in my stomach and started to think the worse. I ran into the bedroom, put on some clothes and ran outside to look for him.

As I ran outside, I started to pray to God to please protect my husband, to please make sure that I find him quickly and with no harm. I started to think how much I love him and how I do not want to spend the rest of my life without him. He is all I have. He is my partner and my best friend.

Once in the car, I heard my cell phone….It was Michael! “Thank you Lord!” I shouted!

He was at the gym and did not hear the phone. He had kissed me good-bye but I was in a deep sleep to remember. ¬†For all the pain and suffering he put me through, he brought home a bouquet of sunflowers for me and whispered “I am sorry” a dozen times. I don’t think I will ever forget this day and my horrific nightmare which I thought came true.

My husband is safe. My husband is well….I will hold him tightly.

Happy Reading!!!!

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Thirty……Something


Hello World!

I am back and I am older…Much older.

I am a thirty-something…32-years-old to be exact. I have to admit It has hit me hard to be in my thirties. It is not what I expected at all and I feel very unaccomplished, exhausted, frustrated, more frustrated, tired and tired.

I am not getting the: “You are going to love being in you thirties!”.

So far I just feel like time is just flying by and no matter what I do or how much I train, I cannot keep up! ¬†That Is what I feel thus far….Time is like I a marathon I cannot keep up with.

I am struggling a lot with aging, accomplishing goals and changes. I find myself thinking a lot about my past and things I could have done differently. There is so much I still want to do and I am running out of time. At the same time everything that I try to do comes to halt or I reach a dead-end. But, I have to keep pushing forward because there is no other way.

In many ways, I wish I could be more relaxed, carefree and less demanding of myself. It is something I need to work on, but my type A personality simply does not release its hold of my mind and soul. I think that the reverse is happening now that I am in my thirties.

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For one, my obsessiveness with organization has gotten worse. My patience is very, very low. My migraines are more intense. My back aches way more. I have zero energy and my mood is not great. So what is so great about being in your thirties….I have no clue!

The only thing I feel is more pressure to accomplish my goals before being 40. I feel more pressure to have children, buy a house, get the perfect job and do what I need to do to set myself up for retirement. I know I am thinking of all the negatives and maybe I am a pessimmist…but it is how I am feeling these days.

I do not feel that awesome vibe that everyone is talking about and I wish I was in that happy place.

Until next time….Happy Reading!!!!

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http://www.google.com/search

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Trying to remember July


July is running away from me faster than I can catch my breath. I cannot believe all the school supplies are already out on display at almost all the stores by me.  The days are running together  and I have no idea what I accomplished this summer thus far.

Well the one thing I did do this summer was go to Disney at the beginning of June. Things have changed so much since the last time I was there. For one, the crowds were massive and it kept raining and raining and raining.

Secondly, I don’t remember having to wait 3 hours to get on a ride. I was glad to see that they gave out Fast Passes; but still, it was a bit crazy to try to go on all the rides we wanted and not spend the entire day waiting in line to go on just one ride.

Also, what happened to all the characters that walked around the parks and you were able to get their autographs? That’s right! There was a line for the characters as well ūüė¶

I did enjoy the Beast’s Castle from Disney’s Beauty and the Beast. It was really neat to eat there and that was the one place I did not mind waiting in line. I also loved the fireworks in Disney’s Magic Kingdom. It really brought me back to my childhood and the very first time I saw Mickey Mouse.

However, it seems that there is so much more than Disney World in Orlando, FL.  We went to a Pirate Show Dinner and It was really fun. I definitely want to spend more time in Universal Studios and try the Butter Beer in Harry Potter Land. My husband loved the Harry Potter simulator ride so much,  that he went on it twice!

I would also like to go back to FL and stay by the beach. Maybe do more sightseeing and dig my toes in the sand.

It has been a rough year thus far for us and I really have no idea what plans we have for the next upcoming months. I feel like I am in the middle of a crossroad and I am not sure what direction to take.  All I can do is wait for time to tell me.

Happy Summer!!!

 

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I Miss You.


I know it has been a while. I am sorry! It has been a difficult month of June.

I would like to write about someone today, someone who I miss dearly.

So here it goes:

This is one is for you, to you …I miss you!

I miss our long talks about nothing and about Everything.

I miss your voice on the phone right after work, before work and at the most inappropriate times.

I miss your daily text each morning telling me how much you love me and how much you think about me.

I miss you telling me how much you worry about me and how I am like one of your own.

I miss sending you your monthly supply of Ensure, even though we both knew you were too young to be drinking that stuff.

I miss you visiting me and our talks about your cooking. What you made that day. How you treated you neighbors and your roommate to North Eastern delicacies.

I miss your daily gossip about something or someone and then having you change your mind about that person.

I won’t forget your smile, generosity and your wild spirit. Our arguments were classic but always ended on a happy note.

I am happy that I made you feel comfortable in speaking to me about anything you wanted. I know I never made you feel judged by your decisions and your actions. I know you never judged me.

We got along so well and we simply “got” each other. I was so lucky to have you in my life. I miss you.

Thank you for always being there for me in the good times and the not so great times. For being my listening ear and for taking my side;  even when I did not deserve it.

But, that is just how you were. You took charge and control of everything, even when you were not in charge. Even if at times we did not agree, you were going to live your way.

I want to thank you for watching Carrott, while Mike and I vacationed. I loved the room you booked for us. It is as if you were giving us a gift before your eternal good-bye.

I will never forget that day when Mike and I were so close to your home and we got the dreadful call. We arrived at your home to find all of your neighbors that you had spoken about so in-depth with me, way too many times. They each knew my name. They knew exactly who I was. I had never met them before and knew exactly who they were. They hugged me and tried to console me and I tried to do the same. It felt surreal.

But, thank you for speaking so highly of me. I am honored to have helped you and been there for you, just like you were there for me.

Thank you for coming to my wedding and having a blast. I was honored we were the only wedding you got to attend, out of all of your children.

Thank you for being my mother when I needed one.

Thank you for being my best friend.

Thank you for being the best mother-in-law a woman could ever have.

Thank you for keeping every piece of clothing or card I gave you.

I love you and I think about you every day!

I will miss you every day!

Love Always,

Your Daughter (in-law).

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My wish as a future mom


Hello all!

I know I have been absent. I have been so very busy and trying to do so many things at once. Therefore, I will now be posting once a month. I have decided to do this in order to be fair with myself and not drive myself to the insane ward.

On better news: Happy Mother’s day to all the mommies out there, bloggers or not.

They say it takes a village to raise a child. The most important member of that village is a mother or a mother figure. Some of us are blessed to have many mothers or even figures in our lives who have been like a mother to us. I, for one, am the mother to my pet Carrott Top, but I truly do not know what being a mother is and I do not pretend to. All I know is the type of mom I would like to be one day; if I learned anything from all of my moms. Here are a few of the things I hope to carry on in my journey as a mother one day:

1. I hope to cry at all school events. I know I will because I cry watching the silliest of movies. I remember how special I felt when my grandmother would come to my school plays and I would see her in the audience wiping her tears out of joy. I can only hope my child would feel the same and not die of embarrassment.

2. I will hold my child and kiss him/her constantly! I received many hugs and kisses from grandma and even my mother. There is nothing like a mother’s hug or kiss, especially when you are not feeling well. What I would give to hug my grandmother right now! I also do not care if my child is extremely spoiled because of the excessive holding and kissing that I will be doing to him or her. I say that children grow way too fast and they will have their entire lives to learn lessons and be adults.

3. I will dress my child in children clothes, not “adult” like clothes. I hate seeing children wear clothing that resembles that of adults. Again, they will have their entire lives to wear what they like. Besides, I now treasure the hand-made outfits my grandmother made me. I know she made them out of love and it was a great way to bond with me. I will always hold dear to my heart all of those moments when she would take my measurements, cut fabric, measure some more, allowed me to cut some of the fabric…It was great! We had so much fun!

4. I will take my children to the dentist. I hate going to get ANY dental work, but I know that if I had proper dental care from the start, I would have not had all the complications I did as an adult. Even though I did not like my mom for taking me, I am thankful now that she did. Thanks to my mom I won’t need any false teeth any time soon…I hope?

5. I will sleep in the same bed with my child. I know this one is a big no-no. But, I remember sleeping in the same bed with my grandparents and to this day my grandfather calls me HIS child. We have an unbreakable bond. I still had my own room and I did sleep in my room as I got older, but I was not forced to sleep alone and it happened when I was ready. I am doing some reasearch on Attached Parenting and the benefits of this philosophy on children, regarding this same very topic.

6. I will sing and read stories to my children. My grandmother used to sing to me and carry me as she did so, I loved her so much because of it. She gave me the attention that all children need and want. Children feel nurtured, loved and cared for when they are read and sang to. Her singing not only comforted me but also brough much joy when I needed it, especially when I dealt with very traumatic events.

I am sure I am missing many more items on this list, like listening with an open mind and feeding my child (That one is very important LOL)…What are some of the things you think I should add to the list that would help me or anyone be a good/better mom?

Happy Mother’s Day and Happy Reading!!!¬†

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Series Of Uncomfortable Traditions


Growing up in a foreign country had its ups and downs. I learned a lot and I am grateful for the experience. There were some things that I loved like visiting the beaches in the Dominican Republic, eating mangoes and drinking fresh coconut water. Then, there were things that were not so enjoyable like the heat waves, hurricanes, cold showers and the lack of fast food; which they do have now and I realize now I was not missing a good thing after all. When I would visit the States I¬†engorged in all the American things I missed, like fast food and hot showers, Hershey’s candy, apples and grapes…For some reason we did not get to eat apples and/or grapes unless it was Christmas in the D.R.

Then, there were the traditional customs in the Dominican Republic which were pretty interesting; like celebrating Three Kings Day and having many days/holidays for the Sacred Virgin. But, there are some cultural traditions that still make me very uncomfortable and made me rebel against the very own culture and traditions that made me who I am today.  Here are a few of those traditions that I would like to blog about:

1. Young love. It is perfectly acceptable for brides and grooms to be as young as 15. Young girls from the poorest villages and “Barrios”(low-income areas of the cities), just pack up their things and leave in the middle of the night with their suitors. Granted it could be very romantic, but some of these girls are too young and should be in school and not cleaning up after a spouse. Besides, most of them wind up at the groom’s parents’ home; since he is probably just as young. I mean ¬†why can’t these teens just practice safe intimate relations and still go to school and stay with their parents? Why do they need to be forced to get married or elope?

2. More young love. It is acceptable for a young bride to marry a much older suitor. This really gets under my skin. I mean most of the girls are not minors per se, but there is definitely a big age difference in most cases. A lot of the cases are between a very young college-age girl, let’s say, and a much older man who has ¬†U.S. citizenship ¬†or the means to provide for the girl and her family. I understand that not having many opportunities and being poor drives families to give up on their young daughters, and I have no right to judge, but it still makes me very uncomfortable to see older men with such young brides. Some of them are as old as the bride’s great-grandfather.

3. Girls do go to school and college, but in the end wind up in the kitchen. I know this is a generalization, but women are raised to tend and take care of the home and their family. There is nothing wrong with this line of thought, but in my home we both take care of each other. I also really resented learning how to cook, iron or do laundry for my future husband. I wanted to learn to take care of myself and to know how to do it for my benefit, not just for some guy I haven’t met yet. Thank God my husband is a great cook and a great helper. He never makes me feel like I have to do all the chores because I am the woman of the home.

4. If you are 21 and not married, you are an old maid. This one goes back to being a young bride in order to even be considered as a good potential partner. I resented this line of thought and it really made me uncomfortable to think that someone as young as 21 could be a bride and a mother to someone. I mean at 21, one should be going to college, graduating college, having a good time and dating…Definitely not getting married! But that is my opinion after all. I am happy that I waited until I was almost 27 years-old and even now I think I was too young. I was not as mature or wise as I am now.

I guess the world cannot be perfect and even here in the U.S.A there are ¬†traditions that make me cringe. There are different cultures and traditions, languages and values in our world. That is what makes the world a world and not just a planet. Without these very different things, there wouldn’t be any diversity.

Happy Reading!!! 

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MARCH MADNESS!!!


This month has flown by! ¬†It literally became an Eagle with wings, and decided to take me on a wild ride. I can’t even believe that Easter is upon us, I celebrated my 5th wedding anniversary, and St. Patty’s day came and went, with its pot full of gold at the end of the rainbow. By the way, I do not recommend watching the Leprechaun movies on St. Patrick’s day while being sober…Wow! Those movies were terrible! But the craziest of all things that could happen in March, is the amount of snow that I am seeing here in VA. I mean from light snow, to shower mixes, to a possible storm as I am writing this, I mean when is it going to stop? I guess Winter does not want to leave us so soon after all. Could it be that the year is going by so fast, that the seasons are not catching up? I mean, for me, it feels like time is going at the speed of light and I can barely keep up.

And then there is Easter. What a great time to celebrate with family and all the children of one’s family. I hope time will slow down a bit, just for this one day, so that I can get to enjoy it!

It is interesting how when we are young, we want everything to happen right away. We want time to speed up and grow up. But as adults, the opposite happens. Not only do we change as people, but we also have a different view of time. We simply do not want it to go by so fast. We do not want to grow old and we want to hold on to the good times as much as possible.

Sometimes, it feels like life itself is just a dream. An illusion or a thought that simply lingers long enough to create memories. Then one day we can refer back to it, whether it was a good memory or a bad one; but nothing is really real. Nothing is that detrimental or constant. Eventually things change, situations change, people change, circumstances change. The only thing that is constant and for sure is time. It is always there creeping upon us.

So on this month of March, I hope that we all take time from our MAD schedules to reflect, spend time egg hunting, eat way too many chocolates, create good memories, and take it one day at a time.

Happy Easter! Happy Reading!!! 

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Numéro Cinq


My husband and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary a few days ago. Wow! Times has flown right before our eyes.

It was a low-key celebration: We went to Olive Garden, and the following day we went to CineBistro for dinner and a movie. We like to keep things simple.

When it comes to traditional gift giving, gifts that one is supposed to give their spouse on anniversaries, until recently we had no idea what the correct items are supposed to be. We give each other what we want throughout the year for the most part, so on holidays and anniversaries we can just share a card and spend time with each other. This year my husband really wanted ¬†a nice travel cup with a straw included. I got him a nice large size cup for him to take to work. He got me chocolates from our local Hallmark store…Which I love! ¬†He also got a new T.V. set in January and new sneakers a month ago. That is not including his GameStop games and other items he gets throughout the year. I got some natural and organic beauty items I really wanted and soon will be going on a shopping spree for clothes. Very simple…No fuzz ūüôā

I thought it would be nice to share some traditional gifts couples SHOULD give their spouses each year of marriage.

Note: I am only including years 1-10. These are some of the traditional items here in the U.S.A. Information extracted from http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Wedding_anniversary

So here are the traditional items for each anniversary, and what my husband gave to me for our special day; but may or may not have been on the exact day of our anniversary:

Year            Traditional(USA)       Us (Michael to Arlene)

1rst ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†Paper ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬†Dave Matthews Band concert tickets…That can count as paper!

2nd              China                          Jewelry  (Earrings)

3rd ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Leather ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† ¬† Coach Bag ….Definitely counts as leather!

4th              Appliances                   Jewelry (Claddagh Ring)

5th           Wood/Silverware            Chocolates/Clothes

6th              Iron/Wood

7th              Desk Sets

8th             Bronze/Linens

9th             Pottery/Leather

10th          Diamond Jewelry

Happy Reading and St. Patty’s Day!!!

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No Access


The other night I had another crazy dream. I was driving my grandfather’s pick up truck to the country side in the Dominican Republic. I knew I was dreaming, because I would never drive in the Dominican Republic and big pick-up trucks scare me to death (You would not like them either if you were as short as me!) But there I was, driving through the beautiful green scenery, looking at the people outside of their homes enjoying the beautiful sunny day. All of a sudden I saw this huge water wave coming towards me. I felt so short out of breath and I began to lose control of the truck. The wave seemed to have a mind of its own and it was only aiming towards me. I managed to pull into a commercial establishment and ran inside. There, I managed to get control of my breath and reminded myself why I should not drive in foreign countries: There is no traffic control and apparently no wave control either.

I started to look around the establishment and it no longer seemed like an ordinary store. It was a very big, plain, blue room. The floor was so shiny I could see my reflection right on it. I started to walk further into the room and noticed a reception area. A middle-aged woman was sitting behind this beautifully oak-crafted reception desk. I walked up the woman and looked straight at her to see if I knew who she was. She looked back at me with very intense eyes, almost as if she was annoyed at me. She said: “Oh no. Not this time. This time you cannot get through. There is no access for you and you know that. I cannot let you through to the waiting room!”. I don’t know why I said ¬†what I am about to write next, but this is what I said: “Please let me through. I have to get in and try to see my grandmother. I need her”. I started sobbing uncontrollably. The woman looked at me annoyed again and said: “Ugh! Here is a pass to the waiting room. It is not like you are going to get through and go to the main area anyway”. I responded: “I know. I know I am not going to heaven and I know very well where I am going!”. She showed me the way to the waiting room and I felt like I was at Penn Station in NYC.

There were people everywhere and in all corners of the room. I don’t know how all of those people were able to fit in that room and yet we were not on top of each other. There were people walking around, sitting, running, and talking to each other. It was so loud in there. Straight ahead I saw very tall doors that opened every few minutes or so. Each time the doors opened, there were many more people looking towards the waiting room. It seemed like they were waiting for the people in the waiting room. I kept trying to see if perhaps my grandmother was there trying to find me. Suddenly, a handsome, tall, dark-haired guy, with olive-green eyes, came up to me and grabbed me by my shoulders. He looked at me intently and then whispered in my left ear in a deep baritone voice: “You need to sing. You need to work with children. You need to dance” ¬†I woke up feeling sad, but at the same time confused.

What does this all mean? Where was I? Does my subconscious know something about the afterlife that I should be aware of?

What do you think?

 

Happy Reading!!! 

 

 

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