Opal Siren

My life in dreams

Plans Never Work

on November 17, 2013

The other day I watched the movie “PS I Love You” with Gerard Butler, Hilary Swank, Jeffrey Dean Morgan and others. I love this film. I love the Irish flare, the landscape, the love story, the power and strength that Holly (Hilary Swank) must find within herself to move on and create a life for herself. She must find out who she is, all while dealing with the loss of her soul mate and husband. Her story is a reminder that life is not permanent and things can change rather too quickly and without any warning. Life is disorder, chaos, inconsistent and unplanned; no matter how organized we may want to make it.

Every time I watch this movie I cry. The love story is very similar to my life with my husband. I am the crazy, super orderly, have no clue what do with my life, girl. My husband is the carefree, let’s see what happens, funny, tell-it-like it is, let me find ways to annoy my wife, type of guy. I cannot imagine being without him and yet we have endured periods of separation, anxiety and loss. Every time my husband goes on deployment, or there is a threat that he may have to go on one, I feel a knot in my stomach and the agony of the thought that it will be months before I see my husband again. I have separation and abandonment issues from childhood and I cannot bear being away from him; even when I need a break from him.

However, each time I watch this movie I learn something new. The first time I watched it, I learned that sooner or later we all must pick up the pieces and move on. The memories of those that have passed on will always stay with us and will shape us. When I watched the movie this time,  I also learned that all the lists in the world cannot prepare me for a life of chaos and constant change. I love the saying that Gerry (Gerard Butler) says to Holly, something along the lines: “That’s okay, luv. Your plans never work out, anyway”.  I love this quote!!! Why did I not notice this quote before? The quote is so true, at least for me. My plans never work! Maybe plans are not supposed to work. Maybe we are not supposed to be orderly and live by lists and know what the next step should be.

One way to look at plans,  is that they are soul consuming and really keep us in a state of worry and stress about the next step. Maybe life just needs to flow and we need to just let go and let it happen. I am not saying I am not going to be a responsible adult, but maybe I need to worry less and just take it one day at a time. Something good can come out of disorder and chaos. Just by looking at nature and life itself, humanity, all of it was not even suppose to exists. Out of the chaos of the universe something beautiful and magical emerged: Our species emerged and evolved. That is something to be thankful…

What do you think?

Happy Thanksgiving!  🙂

Happy Reading!!!

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