Opal Siren

My life in dreams

A Welcome Letter To the Flea That Invaded My Home

on June 29, 2012

Dearest Guest,

It has been brought to my attention, as owner and manager of the premises you are invading, that you have decided on your own free will to come stay at my property . Even though plenty of warnings were given and safety items were placed to avoid your trespassing. Therefore, I have no other choice but to welcome you, and your family and friends, to a wonderful stay in which I will provide the following: 

1. Daily rollercoaster rides in the vacuum cleaner.

2. Daily spa treatments with a very expensive flea spray.

3. Daily nourishment with my canine’s blood, which is spiced with Frontline. 

4. More rollercoaster rides in the vacuum at night.

5. Daily wild safari rides to my local trash disposal area. 

I cannot thank you enough for the pleasure of your presence in which you have given me:

1. Paranoia.

2. Obsessive compulsive cleaning…which has now skyrocketed.

3. Manic calls to my mother-in-law.

4. Manic conversations with my husband, who is deployed. 

5. Sleeplessness. 

Please enjoy your stay and refer me to your friends. 

Sincerely,

The Flea Terminator

Happy Reading!!! 🙂

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