Opal Siren

My life in dreams

The “Real” Housewife of the Navy

on August 10, 2011

I am a U.S. Navy housewife. Sometimes I ponder, “How on earth that I get here?” I went to college, had a job in the financial services industry and had my place by the beach. Don’t get me wrong. I love my husband and I have gotten used to my life and my husband’s career. I would not trade it for anything !!!!  I knew the advantages and disadvantages of being a military spouse. I know there are many other bloggers that are in the same circumstance as I am. For those of you that do not know, it is a big sacrifice for spouses and partners as well. It is an honor to support my husband in his career. However, there are times where I do not look forward to the Navy protocol or way of life.

Let’s start with the constant moving every three years or so. There are times when you know exactly where you are going, and then there are times where orders get screwed up.  You may wind up in the state you knew you were going to, but not the city. Sometimes you can wind up in another state completely and all plans have to be re-done. I do like moving, I just don’t like the last-minute changes and the actual packing and unpacking 🙂

Let me not forget the dreaded deployment that most service men and women must undertake. For the Navy wife this could mean 6 months to 1 year of not seeing your spouse. You may or may not be near relatives, as he or she may be stationed in a state that is not familiar to you. You will need  the strength of Hercules, the emotions of a crocodile and the determination of a lion to survive alone. You will have to get out there and meet new friends, attend doctors’ appointments alone, tend to the children and manage the household all by your self. There are times when no one will be around to lend you a hand, and there will be times when you will not be in contact with your spouse. Therefore, you have to be creative, resilient and very independent.

Then there is the employment search. Military spouses have a far more greater challenge that just finding a job, it is also finding a career that can move with you. There are companies out there that have sites in other states and they may grant you a transfer. However, these days you would need to apply for another position in another state, and pray that you get chosen so that you can remain with the same company. If the company you are with does not operate in other states, then each time you move you will need to apply to a different place of employment. Therefore, some of us have to take a job that is not too serious or with too much commitment, as we know we are destined to be leaving sooner than later. It is important that we do our research and not just choose a job for the sake of having a job in this economy; we also need to ensure that the job is military spouse friendly. What does that mean?

1. The company must be reasonable and understand that if your spouse has orders to transfer to another state, they must allow you to resign and dismiss any contracts you may have with such company.

2. If you are the one with orders, the company must ensure that while you are away serving our country, they must have a position for you when you get back from your duties.

3. Military friendly companies hire military spouses and such, to use them as temps and temp to hire. This way they do not have to pay a temp agency to find them employees. Instead, they can hire military spouses without having to pay huge finders fees and still used them as temps. It is Win Win for all !!!

4. The company has a contract with a department of the military to provide services, and as such it provides jobs to military members and their families.

There are many other meanings of what a military friendly company is and what it provides, but I wanted to give you an overview. 

So besides the constant moving, the constant job search and the possibility that your husband may get deployed, there is the DRAMA. Yes! There is a lot of drama when your life revolves around the military. Not the kind that you act out in plays and motion pictures, but the kind that is REAL. There is my least favorite of all: family drama. Then there is money drama, spouse drama and many others. This can take a heavy toll emotionally, financially and health wise to any person. Family drama is the worse for me because is the one that I have been dealing with for the past three years, and it is the one that takes an emotional toll on a person. If you are emotionally drained and exhausted, it makes it more difficult for you to be able to cope with the loneliness, the hardships, and the day-to-day issues that arise in your household; especially if you are living in a military household. It took me a while to get over how many  people simply do not understand what it takes to be in the military, yet alone a spouse to someone serving our country. If there is one thing that has always helped me is patience. If you are a military spouse you will need a lot of PATIENCE to deal with family members, your own family and the world. People simply don’t get it and they are only used to what they watch on T.V., or the stories grandpa tells them from WWII. The reality is that I did not even know all the details of what it takes to be a military spouse until I became a Navy wife.

On a side note, this is my last year in PA. We get to choose our next location soon. It is a temporary location, as the Navy may change these orders and we actually won’t know for sure until we are packing those tan/brown moving boxes again! My husband will be preparing to go on a deployment. Time to start preparing for this difficult time.

This post is dedicated to all the military spouses out there. May God bless us all!!!! 

 

As always please subscribe to my blog if you like what you are reading, and comments are welcome!!!

Happy Reading!!!

 

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5 responses to “The “Real” Housewife of the Navy

  1. Excellent post today. I really enjoyed it very much. Thanks again for posting this.

  2. Jen Richards says:

    Being with a Navy guy certainly isn’t the easiest thing in the world. It is worth it though… most days! LOL Have to admit it’s really weird to have gone from working full time (being AD myself!) and now to the stay at home mom role. My passive-aggressive response? I fold his uniforms boot camp style just to remind him that Yeah, my ass was there too! LOL

    Good post, love reading your stuff.

  3. opalsiren says:

    Jen! Thank you for reading. TEACH ME HOW TO FOLD!!! HAHAHAH

  4. Jen Richards says:

    You don’t want that. I swear it isn’t that excited. But it IS kind of funny to see the look on his face when he sees his pile of uniforms. LOL

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